Worlds Apart (lyrics)

I have heard this song as a teenager over and over again, I don't think I really knew what it meant. But wow, it's deep and has really hit my heart and soul.

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

[Additional lyrics:]

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

Grief

It seems that the Lord is really trying to teach us all something lately. If it isn't someone dealing with a grief of the loss of a loved one it's someone dealing with the grief of what they do not have or someone dealing with the grief of un-acceptance due to being somewhat 'different'.

Grief is so similar and so different all at the same time. It comes in so many different ways from so many different directions. You want people to help/encourage you but yet you don't want them to say something really stupid like "I know how you feel" or "Just lean on the Lord, He will help you." While neither of those statement are stupid alone it seems like when you just want to be in that moment of anger it's the last thing you want to hear because really you're not stupid, you KNOW these things. You grew up in a Christian home, you went to Bible college, you spend many summers at camps, you've been on the mission field. Shouldn't that of taught you everything you need to know?

but no my dear friends. Those things might teach us WHAT to do if bad things happen but really it is those trials that refine us and test us and when we truly learn how to cling to our Savior. We truly understand a peace that serpasses ALL understanding. We know what it's like to be angry and sad at the same time and feel as if Jesus is so far yet sooo close. We maybe have a better understanding of what "sovereignty" and all that really is... or perhaps we just know that we don't HAVE to get it, we just need to know that in fact He IS. I think sometimes as 'smart' christians we become so wrapped up in all the doctrine and stuff we almost forget how to just live for Him. It amazes me the things that the Lord has brought me and all my friends through to completely change who we are. So many of us have been through the fire, but through it all God has been so so faithful. Never forget that. When we are in the PIT that is when He is the most near. There is so many verses I have clung to over the past two years, but the ones that stick out the most to me are...

2Cor. 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Praise you Jesus that you are STRONG for us when we feel so so very weak and hurt.

Through the Eyes of me

I think sometimes people think that just because you are a certain way means that you will act a certain way and do certain things. So often you are stereo-typed because of what you are instead of by who you are.

Please don't look at me and assume I stink because I can't see if there is stains on my clothes or if my hair is sticking up or my teeth have something green between them. Don't assume that I'm like this...just because in the mirror my eyes cannot see these things.

Don't think you can complain to me about all YOUR disabilities as I sit there as plan as day overcoming one moment after moment day after day. It's not a disability it is an HONOR from the Lord. Just because my eyes can't see you roll your eyes doesn't mean my heart cannot feel it.

Don't assume that I can not take care of myself and that I will not amount to anything just because my eyes can not drive me from one place to another.

And don't assume that I wouldn't do the best darn job ever at whatever you might hire me to do just because I can not see. My life and my love for the Lord is much much deeper because from an early age I had to LEARN to rely on Him. I see through people....maybe not physically, but spiritually.

God has made me who I am today and He made no mistake. I will not let anything you say or do to me affect who I am in Christ. I am made in the image and likeness of Him. He is my everything. His power is made PERFECT in my weaknesses.